Losing The Girl I Love
by Werewolfluvver
Summary: Gale's POV of the entire Hunger Games, watching Katniss go through the games with Peeta. I suck at summaries please forgive me.
1. The sweet air of the Dawn

-Gale-

I was sleeping peacefully, dreaming softly. Suddenly a sharp kick to my gut wakes me up, pulling me out of the dream. Wheezing I glare at my younger brother's foot, and grudgingly get up to dress. It is earlier than I would usually meet Katniss, but thanks to the swift kick in the gut I received I'm wide awake. I sighed, and went out into the morning light of District 12 grabbing a squirrel on my way out.

0*0*0*0*0*0*

I silently padded to the baker, praying the baker's wife was still asleep. I pressed my ear to the door, hearing footsteps inside. I smiled in relief, these were the heavy steps of the baker and not the lithe light steps of his wife. I knocked on the door, and it was opened by the smiling baker. He ushered me into the bakery, and I caught sight of the blue eyes and ashy blonde hair of the baker's son. He looked troubled about something as he carried a huge sack of flour on his shoulders. Shrugging I turned around, and asked the baker, "What can I get for a squirrel?" the baker thought for a minute, then he turned around and walked away. I was about to follow when he came back holding a loaf of bread fresh from the oven. My mouth watered, but I kept my face cool. The baker held out the bread, "Will this do?" I nodded, handing him the squirrel and taking the bread.

0*0*0*0*0*

I ran to the gate, now late for meeting Katniss thanks to my little detour. I slipped under the fence, and ran to the special place that Katniss and I share. She was already there, sitting quietly with her eyes closed. I grinned, my eyes roaming her skin and her brown hair, then I crept closer, but she opened her eyes and jumped in surprise. Quickly we combed the woods, checking the snares, catching fish, and picking strawberries. We went back to our place, where I presented the bread and Katniss presented a hunk of goat's cheese from her little sister PrimRose. We quickly ate our spoils, then traveled back under the gate to go sell the strawberries to our mayor. After that, Katniss and I parted ways, her to her house and me to mine.

When I walked in, my house was in complete chaos. "Gale!" My mom said desperately, "Go get your brothers ready and Take a BATH you stink!" Sighing, I stripped down, scrubbing my body clean of all grime before dressing in my best clothes. My brothers were dressed, their hair was decent, and we all had on our best clothes. The bells rang, and we filed out heading for the square. At the square, I left my brothers and joined the group of boys my age. I turned my head, and caught Katniss's eye. I mouthed, "You ok?" she nodded, looking beautiful in an apothacary blue dress of her mother's. Worry was etched onto her normally cool face as she kept my eye across the square.

Effie Trinket was bouncing impatiently as the mayor delivered his yearly speech he gave every Hunger Games. After he was done, Effie who was practically vibrating with excitement, came and announced it was time to pick the names of the tributes who would be forced to travel to the capitol and compete in these horrible games. Yanked out of my thoughts, I watched as Effie pulled the unlucky girl's name out of the ball and walking to the podium. She opened the paper and read, "Primrose Everdeen." It isn't Katniss, but her sister. Sweet gentle Prim who cannot bear to hurt anything. 3…2…1…, "PRIM PRIM!"

Just like I knew she would, Katniss came running up, shoving Prim behind her. "I volunteer! I Volunteer!" she said firmly. Prim starts shrieking and grabbing onto Katniss's dress. I don't know what possessed me to do what I did next, but I ran forward and grabbed Prim and carried her away as Katniss was lead up to the stage. Effie asked Katniss what her name was, and after she proclaimed that we should all give a big round of applause. Instead of applause, the whole district lifted our left hands to our mouths in unison, kissed our middle 3 fingers, and held them out silently. It was a way of saying goodbye, it was the only way we could defy the Capitol in our own way without getting killed.

The district was saying goodbye to one hell of a girl. We could only pray that she gets home. Effie stared in puzzlement, shrugged, and announced it was time for the boys. I silently and irrationally prayed, "Please be me please be me." It wasn't me, but the stocky blonde baker boy Peeta Mellark. The audience was silent, not even the wind blew. When he got onto the stage, Effie made them shake hands. From my position, I saw a slight squeeze go through Peeta's hand that got reciprocated by Katniss's hand. "It was only for comfort." I told myself, "She hardly knows him so why else would he squeeze his hand?"

**A/N this is my first fic please be gentle. please review i don't know when i'll be able to update if i'll be able to update at all so please forgive me**


	2. What do I do now?

Before that thought finished manifesting in my head, Katniss and Peeta were whisked away inside the justice building. The Mellark's and the Everdeen's hurried towards the building with me in hot pursuit. They let family in first, leaving me pacing a hole in the carpet while I waited. As I waited, thoughts played on repeat through my mind, "Why Prim why did this god awful thing have to happen why did it have to be Katniss who volunteered? I mean sure Prim is her sister but I mean now we may lose Katniss Everdeen, the only girl I could ever trust with all my secrets, the person I hunt with, the only person I love, and the only thing unknown to her is _how_ much I love her. I can't lose Katniss dammit, I already lost my father and now the girl I love?! This just isn't fair, but there is nothing I can do about it, I can only pray. After what felt like a milinnium, they finally allowed me back to see her.

I practically sprinted down the hallway, and made it to the door in record time. I opened the door, and with what was almost a choked sob, Katniss flung herself into my arms holding me tightly. I tried to pour everything I felt for her into that hug, but I don't think I managed to make her feel how much I loved her. I I looked into her eyes, and saw for the first time since her father died, emotions I thought Katniss would never show again. In her eyes shone vulnerability, fear, loss, sadness, disbelief, and fury. I was only able to distiguish these emotions because of how well I know her. A complete stranger would just see the cold expressionless mask that most see. Not my Catnip, I see every emotion she tries to hide every wayward thought splaying across her face like a painting. My Catnip whom I need to let her know I will take care of her mother and Prim, and who I need to let know how much I love her, and what she would need to do to make sure she would come home.

First, I explained that she needed to do one thing and one thing only, Get. To. A. Bow. I knew deep in my gut if she got a bow, if she showed them how good she was, they would put a bow in the arena. She would give them a good show. In the end that was all this sick twisted game was about, a televized program of teens and tweens killing each other for the amusement of the weird oddly colored Capitol people who didn't give a damn about those in the districts, in the end all they wanted was for themselves to have a good show. "Remember Katniss, I lo-." The door hitting me in the nose cut me off, stopping me from saying the one thing I'd never had to balls to say in all the time I've known her. And I may never get a chance again. For all I know, once Katniss gets to the games, the gamemakers could purposely obliterate her.

Walking out of the building, I caught sight of the mayor's daughter Madge who walked up to me. "Gale I'm sorry about Katniss, but you have to believe she will come through. She's strong and she can get through it." She tapped my chest, "You believe in her here, but up here," she tapped my head, lives worry, love, anger. Don't. Let. The. Games. Control. You. Gale. You have responsibilities now man up and act on them." She shoved me hard in the chest, then walked away quickly.

I stared after her blankly, then bolted to the train station where the tributes were being boarded. I caught a glimpse of Katniss getting pulled onto the train before the door closed, blocking me of the stony soft pair of grey eyes that had captured my heart the first time I saw her. I gripped my hair in denial, then raced to my safe haven of the woods, not caring I could her my name being screamed, not caring that I was in my best clothes, not caring that I needed to go home, not even caring that from the train window a probing pair of grey eyes searched for me, burning into my back. I just ran, the only thought going through my head was, "_Katniss you need to win I can't live without you. Katniss if you die who will watch my back in the woods? Katniss I need you please please please try to come home. Katniss. Katniss. Katniss…_


	3. Flames that crawl through my heart

It has been several hours, and I am still hiding in the woods. I finally heave myself to my feet, running like a wolf to its prey. I ran hard and fast, making it to the gate in no time. I HAD to see the opening ceremony! As of right now, it was the way I could see her face and tell myself she was still alive. If I hadn't been on foot, I probably would've broken several speed laws at the rate I tore to get back to my house. I screeched inside, panting and clutching a stich in my side. Panting, I flung myself onto a chair in front of our grainy TV, knocking one of my brothers off the chair in the process. My brother glared at me, but I didn't care I glued my eyes to the screen. I made it, the announcer was only explaining the games. After his speech, the chariots starting rolling. Districts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, big and extravagant as the costumes for the first few districts were, they were utterly rediculous and made it seem like the tributes were impersonating capitol people with big hats. Chariots passed, I judged how stupid stylists were, and started dozing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something. Something that looked like flames.

I shot my head up, and I saw Katniss and Peeta wearing simple black matching outfits, and oh yeah did I forget to mention they were on FIRE?! Catnip looked unharmed and unpained. Peeta looked cool and collected. Both looked really dazzling with flames. In the dying light, the flames illuminated their faces. I relaxed, until I saw that her and Peeta were holding hands. Pain, complete and total pain obliterated my senses for a full minute. I blinked, catching a look my mother had sent my way. I ignored it, and looked more closely at their interlocked hands and fingers. Judging by the whiteness of their hands, they are holding on pretty damn tight. She doesn't like this guy does she?! She hardly knows him! Why in the hell would she do this?! And what the hell did they do to the real Katniss? Because the girl on screen may look and sound like Katniss Everdeen, but the personality is so wrong.

This Katniss, changed by the capitol, is not the Katniss I have known for years this is not my Catnip. This Katniss is giggling, her face shining with happiness as the crowd roars louder than an agitated pack of fighting bears. This Katniss waves energetically, this Katniss's eyes shine almost as bright as the flames on her costume. A man throws a rose at her, and she smells it exaggeratedly before blowing a kiss in the direction it came from. This is not my Katniss, she is manipulated for these games and I need to get her back ASAP! The only problem is she is at the Capitol I am in district 12 with a lot of hungry mouths to hunt for and feed. Katniss is at the capitol, blowing kisses and giggling. She turns towards the camera, and blows another kiss. I place my hand on my heart, and say in a voice too soft to hear over the television, "I love you Catnip please come home I need you."

I jumped off the chair then, unable to watch anymore and stripped my best clothes off jumping into bed in my underwear. My mind was troubled, but the draining emotions from the day put me under almost immedietely. During the days that Katniss is training in the capitol, I hunt gather sell trade, and keep little Prim's stomach full. Having to do all of this for 2 families is draining, and most nights I am asleep before my head hits the pillow. Finally the day the training scores will be aired arrives, and I am practically vibrating with nervous energy. Chewing my knuckles I watch as the scores snail by. 10 for the district 1 boy, a 9 for the girl. I see some 8's and a handful of 5's. Even the little girl from district 11 managed to scrap out well with a good score. For someone so small, a 7 is a big deal. Finally, they reach district 12. Peeta got a score of 8, which was ok but my eyes were locked on Katniss. I stared at her face as a silence stretched, before a big white 11 flashed across the bottom of her screen. An 11! I knew she could do it! She will survive these games! I just know she will! I didn't care what my family thought, I jumped around and danced like I was 3 so sue me.

**A/N I tried to make the chapter longer but I don't know if it worked. I know it is early but I will update as often as I can. Please R&R **

**later- **

_**Werewolfluvver**_


	4. Anger is the mask for denial

Stalking through the woods quietly, my mind reels from what I saw last night. I need to focus, so I set my eyes on a nice fat squirrel sitting in a tree munching on an acorn. I pull my bow string back to my ear, and let it go. With a TWANG! And a snap, my arrow flies clean and true. Piercing the squirrel's body, the arrow lodges itself in the back of the squirrel's tiny skull. I smile, and add the squirrel to the game bag hanging from my belt. I already have 5 fat rabbits from the snares, and 2 turkeys. I am providing for 2 families though so I have to get more game.

Finally, with my game bag stuffed full, I lope back to the gate, stop and listen for the electricity, and slip underneath back into the district boundaries. I stop in front of the Everdeen house, and knock on the door. There is a scraping from inside, and a weary tired looking pair of blue eyes peers at me from a curtain. I smile at Prim and wave. She grins, and opens the door. Prim's mom is dozing quietly on her bed, and Prim says quietly, "We were up almost all night watching the tribute parade. And then last night we were waiting for the training scores. She got an 11! And about the parade, I think Katniss and Peeta made quite an entrance with the flames. Don't you think?" I opened my mouth to reply, but I remembered Katniss and Peeta's joined hands in the chariot and snap my mouth shut nodding stiffly.

Prim looks at me, seeming to read my mind. "Gale Hawthorne I know how that must of felt to you but Katniss needs every ounce of support as she can get right now. You may not trust Peeta, and nor do I and I know Katniss definetly doesn't but Katniss needs someone and something right now. That something is sponsors and that someone for the time being is Peeta. I know you wish it was you, but your needed here to provide our families with food. Gale I know it hurts but it will be ok. Katniss doesn't really date anyhow, so you have nothing to worry about. And before you say Katniss may never come home she got an 11 that has never happened in Hunger Games history, she will survive Gale." Sounding surprisingly firm for someone so young, I stared at Prim as she ranted. Breaking out of my trance, I hugged her for her kind words, gave her the game, and left. _

It had been a few days since the scores, and the day of the interviews had come. I had been pacing all day, much to the annoyance of my mother. She eventually hit me with a frying pan and tied me to a chair to stop my pacing. Glaring with annoyance at my mom, I sulked in that seat all day, my feet bouncing up and down. Finally finally, the sun started to set, and my mom untied me. Ceasar Flickerman of the capitol dyed his eyebrows and hair again…wow I really wonder about these people. He jokes with the crowd for a bit before he calls the first girl up. It seems everyone is playing angles for sponsors. Sexy, sullen and hostile, sly, quiet, hard to catch, I watch as the tributes are interviewed one by , Katniss was called. What looked like a walking inferno graced the stage, and with a jolt I realized it was Katniss.

She was, radiant. There was no other way to describe it, she glowed like the flames on her costume the first night. As her interview starts, she seems to lock eyes with a dark haired green eyed man that is wearing metallic gold eyeliner, well a lot. She answers honestly, and I realize the angle Katniss went for was none other than… _herself._ A brave beautiful brave hearted teenager whose guts rival that of a grown soldier in the middle of a war. At one point, she starts spinning, then she giggles. It is so unlike her to be so open, but there she was giggling like the girls at school who are always watching me. Ceasar asks her what she did to get the top score, but she makes a comment about not being able to talk about it and left it at that. Her eyes aren't grey tonight, no they glow like silver in the lights. Like Katniss herself, her eyes are simply radiant.

Katniss's buzzer rang, and Catnip the walking inferno hurried back to her seat. Peeta walked onto stage dressed in a black suit with flame accents. (hmp these stylists really like the theme of fire) with an easy smile, joking and laughing with Ceasar as soon as his interview starts. Ceasar then asks him if he has a girl here in District 12 waiting for him. His reply is a hesitant and unbelievable shake of his head. With some prodding from Ceasar, Peeta admits that he has had a crush on this girl for years but never talked to her. According to Peeta, she didn't even know he existed before his name was called in the square. Ceasar encouraged him, saying that if he won he could get the girl. I huffed at that, because I knew what he said was true. But Peeta shook his head, claiming winning wouldn't help his case at all. Curiously, Ceasar probes him to answer and I hear the very last thing I expect and the very last thing I wanted to hear. "She came here with me." He means Katniss, MY CATNIP! WHAT. THE. HECK?! I knew my anger was irrational, but the anger masked the dread that made it's way to my warm, beating, happy, heart, turning it to a cold, silent, and small organ that sits clenched behind my ribcage.


	5. The start of the games

I just stared as Peeta's interview ended and he stood up and waved at the people. Katniss had her eyes trained down, and she refused to look at the cameras. Just like at the train station, I ran. I ran like the hopeless coward I was, to my only safe haven. I didn't hear see or feel anything, I just ran. I could feel someone pursuing, but I pumped my long lean legs harder, my light hunting boots slapping the dirt soundlessly. I made it under the gate in record time, scrambling faster than what felt like the speed of sound. I made it to our place, and plopped down burying my head in my hands. I got up, needing to move, and I heard a growl. I turned around slowly, to come face to face with a feral dog. The dog was foaming at the mouth, and I was scared. I took a tiny step back. The dog growled, taking a huge step forward. Acting on instinct and the remaining adrenaline from my run earlier, I turned and ran. I was staying ahead barely, the dog was gaining.

I spotted a tree, the lowest branch 20 feet up. Could I make it? Or would this dog chew me to kibble? Praying, I jumped and groped. I grabbed the branch barely, my fingers weakly clinging. The dog snapped at my feet, managing to get a grip on my pant leg. It pulled, almost pulling me down. I defiantly swung my other hand up, grasping the branch more firmly. My grip weakened, then I saw Katniss in my mind. Her face was a mask of fury that I had let our families starve and get myself killed. I had promised! I groaned in pain, and I swung. I reached, and kicked the dog hard. It dropped my pant leg, and circled the tree. If I can aim right, I can hit the dog and daze it enough so I can make a run for it. I waited, then I dropped. I hit the dog on the back, shoving it into the ground. Then I ran, and I made it to the gate. I ran into the gate, noticing the sun that sat almost on top of the mountain.

I ran all the way home, a sense of dejavu washing towards me. I made it home, and plopped unceremoniously onto the floor, leaning my back against the couch. The grainy image exploded into a colorful image of a large grassy field surrounded by a huge expanse of forest. I sighed in relief, this was right up Catnip's alley, and she should be ok. I spotted her, and she was scanning the tributes and the arena. Her eyes locked on a bow, and she angled her body towards it coiling to spring into a sprint. No! She can't do that! She'll be slaughtered! The timer counted down, 5…4…3…2… Katniss looked up and spotted Peeta who shook his head. 1! The gong shattered the quiet air, and Katniss stumbles in surprise. The other tributes sprint, grab weapons, and start adding up the numbers of the dead. Katniss stands still, before she's in motion. She looks bad tempered, and starts running towards the trees.

Suddenly she turns around sprints and grabs an orange backpack and a sheet of plastic. The district 2 girl threw a knife, and the blade lodged into the middle of the backpack Catnip was carrying. Catnip disappeared into the trees, and the cameras pointed at the careers who had a whole mountain of supplies. Suddenly a blonde head appeared, and Peeta ducked into the careers sight. He offered to help them find Katniss and they agreed to let him be in their group. My fists clenched, that traitor! He said he had a crush on her now he's offering to help find her?! I swear if he comes home alive, I will kindly disrupt the laws of physics to punt his ass to Pluto. On second thought that would still be too close so I wanna knock him into the next galaxy. The camera panned away from the careers, and focused on a dehydrated looking Katniss. She was in a tree, belted in by her waist. After hounding my family to wake me up if anything happens, I reluctantly went to bed. In the early lights of the morning, my mom shook me awake. Katniss was lying flat, her chest barely moving and her fingers buried in mud. Oh My God mud! Come on Catnip just stretch your hand a little further. Her slack fingers hardened, digging harder into the mud. Her closed grey eyes opened, liquid as molten silver. Over the next few hours, she re-hydrated her body while relaxing in a tree. It seemed the heat was off of her for a while, so she was succumbed into sleep. I relaxed too, content to just look at her gorgeous face. I almost started dozing, but that was when I saw the fireball heading straight towards her.

**A/N Yes I know I really need to get an update schedule but i had a severe case of writer's block and plus school got in the way. Soo anyway can y'all R&R my story please? also thanks to anyone who favorited or followed my story i owe you one :). Anyhoo gotta go! **

**Later-**

_**Werewolfluvver**_


	6. A Fiery Flee And A Scheme In The Trees

"NO!" I screamed. Miraculously, almost as if she heard me, her eyes snapped open. Her fingers fumbled for the belt attaching her to the tree. She dropped then ran, fast. As she ran, fireballs were getting shot at her left and right. She avoided all of them with only a few minor things lost (several inches of hair and several inches of her jacket). With a sudden flash of light, and a pained bloodcurdling scream, Catnip's calf was burned to a crisp. Hmp bet the stylists regret the fire now. Is she going to be ok? Of course she'll be ok this is Catnip we're talking about. She will pull through because she's too stubborn and hard headed to not pull through. I still worry about her though, I mean she's so small... Don't tell her I said that she would kill me.

0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

She slowly dragged herself back to the pond, soaking her leg for a long time. The cameras panned away, landing on the career pack and Peeta. The pack was heading towards Katniss, and with a sudden shout of glee Catnip was spotted. Running as fast as she could on her burned leg, she ran before scaling a tree. The careers gathered under the tree, taunting Katniss and calling her the girl on fire. The blonde district 1 girl Glimmer takes out a bow, _Catnip's bow!_ Glimmer takes aim, and attempts to spear Katniss with it. Katniss merely scales the tree higher, a teasing smile on her lips as she's the one who's taunting now. I feel a grin stretch across my face, because her size and weight can work to her advantage. Whenever we hunt in the woods she's the one who scales the trees for fruit. She's small and nimble like a squirrel. The district 2 boy with the sword starts climbing, but he stops when the branches start groaning under his weight when he goes a little bit too high. I feel a smirk crawl across my face again, a smirk that threatens to split my face into 2 halves.

0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

The careers have been fighting for at least an hour, when the traitor baker suggests they wait her out since she can't stay up there forever. I keep my eyes glued to the screen, wanting to beat Peeta up so badly. Katniss sighs, realizing she'll be stuck for a while. Wait, what was that flash of dark brown? It looked like Possum eyes, but the eyes were too aware to be an animal. The figure comes into the light, revealing none other than the small district 11 girl Rue. She gestures to something on the branches above Katniss, I try to make it out, but it is too dark. The weird thing is the object is,..buzzing? Vibrating? Katniss nods, and Rue disappears jumping from tree to tree like a squirrel. _So that's why she said she was hard to catch!_

0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0

The capitol seal appears in the sky, blotting out Katniss as she climbs the tree to the branches that Rue indicated too. She starts sawing vigorously, wincing every now and then. Suddenly she gasped, clutching her neck. And in that minute, it clicked inside my mind. Buzzing and vibrating, a cluster of branches. _Trackerjackers holy crap!_ This is not good, she's getting stung. Before I could so anything, the branch fell showering the T.B (traitorous baker) and the careers with a big ass trackerjacker nest. They all ran screaming, but the girl with Katniss's bow got the worst of it. While the others were able to get to safety in the water, Glimmer just collapsed her body seizing up before she went completely still. The trackerjackers still stung her, her body swelling up like a balloon. The cameras panned away landing on Katniss, who was stumbling back to the place where she dropped the nest. NO! what is she doing they'll catch her! She gets the bow and arrows, cringing away from the body her eyes glazed. She's just about to lay down, when the T.B shows up. OH NO!

0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0

When he spots Katniss, he doesn't jab his spear into her heart like I thought he would, instead he yells at her, "What are still doing here?! Run or they'll catch you! Listening to him, Katniss turns and flees. I'm speechless, unable to move. Did he just? Yes he did, _he saved her life! _The district 2 boy shows up behind Peeta, about to ambush him with his sword. "Well this can't be good," I think just as the boy slashes with his sword and Peeta lets out a scream of bloodcurdling pure agony.

**I'M BAAACKKKK! LOL I finally decided to update this and yes I know I suck for not updating but I had writers block and writers block is so darn annoying! I'm back now and will try to get a basic update schedule please review and for those that did review thanks so much! :D**

**Later-**

**_Werewolfluvver_**


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